


8 Years

by Dragon_Maiden



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Distance, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Friendship/Love, Long-Term Relationship(s), Lost Love, Time Skips, hardship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-02
Updated: 2017-03-26
Packaged: 2018-09-21 16:35:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9557375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dragon_Maiden/pseuds/Dragon_Maiden
Summary: Star-crossed lovers endured the endless drift apart,He becomes lovelorn,She's drawn back to find him,Her lost love.





	1. Memories

**Author's Note:**

> I've had this idea for awhile and just couldn't let it sit idle. I do hope you enjoy it. I am unsure how long this will be so let's enjoy this together. Feel free to comment! 
> 
> Be well!  
> Maiden

I can't tell you where I got this from. Maybe in some dusty book or something someone told me. But it's all that ran through my mind. But that's not entirely true. She was. She was older than the last time I laid eyes on her. Her smile still the same just gentle lines from continued use. Dark hair that danced around her in the windy weather. 

But there was also changes, nothing I hadn't expected in time. We all change. But this one hit me deep in my heart. Small hands, child like arms clinging to her. Nestled into her embrace. It floored me how powerful that image was. I was rooted to my spot across the park. My hot coffee merely warm now. I tried to swallow, breathe anything. 

“Solas where are you?” a hand collided into my shoulder, freeing me from my locked haze. Eyes regaining their focus around me.  
\---

I can't say I know where to start. Everything with us was always out of order. But I can remember when I first met her. My deep love, the passing and brief love that could never stay too long. We attended the sermons together like all children of our kind. Elves.

She was a small little thing, quiet and meek when dealing with the adults. But it was a simple mask she don, free of elders eyes she smiled freely. As was as quiet wrathful little spitfire. Knowing all too well the cruelty of others. 

One was not her sized and not ridiculed in some way. She would often get even with those that tried it make her feel less than anyone else. She was so strong as was her kindness. She would smile at me bright and full like a flower that had just bloomed. 

_”This is Bijaka, she just moved into the area with her family. Let's give her a warm welcome”_ the usual group call filled the field that we sat in. Her name ringing loud and clear on our tongues. 

She would give us a quick scan and squeaked a mild hello before scurrying off to a side to sit. One of my sisters lingering on that side, not wishing to sit with her younger brother. I felt the same. But I quickly noted over the coming weeks the sudden bond my sister had made with the wilted flower of a girl.

My young age I was like most boys, boisterous and mostly a pain . Reel in unless my parent were around. 

_“Elder!”_  
My sister would yell as me and Bijaka got into a scrap. I never hit her, but I had egged her on.picked at her till her ears were tinted red. She had had enough and swiftly kicked me and shoved me into a puddle. Her small mouth pinched together in her anger. Narrowing lavender eyes peered at me. 

I could see the deep anger she clung too but in amazement I watched a she twirled the elder around d her tiny fingers as she wailed and cried. I was dealt with a swift punishment. To which she witnessed she with the usual childish smugness. 

Her smirking grin and wicked pleased eyes as she walked past with my sibling. I had felt the deep pitted anger , get her back. And so we're repeated this charade for most of our childhood. 

But just as quickly we were eleven and she was crying, my other siblings gathered around trying to console our youngest sister. As she had to bid farewell to her friend. She was moving.

Even as the countless times replayed in my mind of our cruel game to one another, I didn't want her leave. 

_“I'll miss you all soo much”_ she cooed. Hugging and speaking quiet words to my siblings till she stepped to me and all other noise seemed to combine and become unintelligible. 

I stood in shock, unable to think properly. But with my silence she had known what I do. How to say goodbye.

_”Goodbye Solas_ her warm arms surrounded my neck. She smelled like the field we always played in. I found my arms knew what to do as a hugged her to me. I felt the slight pull of her mouth on my shoulder, she had smiled. 

_“I'll miss you the most”_ She didn't know it then but she had stunned my mind into continued silence that I couldn't even a reply, not even a goodbye. 

\---

I was home again such a relief, the natural smell had diminished a bit since my absence but I wouldn't complain. I was home. My home has since changed. More roads and stores, more people. Elves, Dwarves, Humans even a few Qunari. 

I loved all the new changes. But it wasn't the only thing that changed. 

“Mama” the small voice rang out to me. 

I beamed down at her face, her expression was worried. She was nervous her first day of school. Her pretty blond locks were wind swept around her head as I adjusted her scarf quickly. 

“Scared? “

Her mop of hair moved with her motion like little choppy waves. I couldn't hold back my laugh. I knew she was, but she was determined to not be treated like a baby. A pouting scowl peered up at me. 

“Of course” I sang. Taking her hand in mine again as we walked to the school. The other children followed the same path. Her curious gray eyes followed them with her head held low. I tried it sniffle the joy I felt at watching her in this new moment, in this new environment.

But all too quickly those tables were turned and my grip tightened around her tiny fingers. Not wanting to be separated from this precious tiny piece that belonged to me. 

I now looked down trying hard. Mask the anxiety that danced under my skin. Showing her a soft smiling as I kneeled in front of her.

“Ready?” 

We both looked around seeing she was all that was left. She visible swallowed as she looked at the door, not looking at me. Her head nodding in confirmation. There was a lump in my throat from the fear. I released her tiny soft fingers in fear I wouldn't let go. And off she dashed towards the door. Her tiny feet echoing off the concrete. I was trying so hard to not cry.

“I love you!” I called my voice sounding so pleading.  
I wasn't prepared for what happened next for her dashing smile and her quick steps as she collided into me her arms wrapped around my neck. Tight and loving it felt deep and full. Never did any hug feel like her hug. 

“Love you Mama” her tiny voice echoed in my neck and I smiled that deep satisfying smile. 

“Love you baby” 

And off she went her arms unwound and free and headed her first day. I stood there waving till she was out of sight. The slight drizzle of rain falling on top of me.

My face was upward looking into the dark clouds that covered the sky. The slight cool trickle of the rain. It was going to be a good day. 

“Bijaka?”

My name fell from someone's lips and with a flutter of fear I reacted. Flush embarrassed cheeks that looked down seeking out the voice that called out to me.

“Solas?”.


	2. Hidden Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A connection from there past meeting in the rain. Surprise and anxiety fill the moment they share. Is it for the better or the worse?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay another chapter up. I'm really pleased with this style. It's different from my usual, but it just flowed so nicely I couldn't do it any other way. 
> 
> Let me know your thoughts,  
> Maiden

“Why won't you look at me?” the words fell out of my mouth. I had meant to cling to them. Suffocate them, let them die on my tongue and wither in the dark depths of me. 

“We shouldn't have” his voice breaking the long silence. As he tried to find the words that ripped out my heart slowly.

“I mean, I shouldn't have. I've tainted you” those eyes that had refused to meet mine were so sad. Heartbroken and full of shame. Shame that he had fallen in my bed. Had dived into my depths. Pierced my soul.

I felt broken in this moment.

“Solas?”

Grey hidden eyes stared back at me once again. 

I had to push back the haze of my memory as the present called me. It sounded like the same voice that I often dreamt of. A voice I had resigned myself to never seeing again. A voice that I missed.

\---

I had said her name.

I had literally lost all sense. Was it the rain? Or the speeding child that had collided into her with fierce love that had broke my resolve to touch this piece of my past.

Was it envy? Or curiosity? 

I honestly wasn't sure in the moment. I was just full of shock and awe. There she was again my little firefly, the light that could lead me home.

My? No not mine. I had no right to that. She had a child, and of course every child had a mother and a; father. The word seemed dark and ominous in my mind. I knew it was petty. Because I had loved her first, I loved her more, then and even more so now.

She spoke my name back, pink cheeks and ears tinted her features. Rain speckled across her tan skin rolling down. I couldn't help watching them with fascination as it disappeared into her clothing or into her clothing out of my eyesight.

Creators help me I currently had no self control. My mind making references to the curves and valleys I once knew so well. And had hoped to never be parted from. I couldn't help the sigh I released in a mix of frustration and sadness. I was a mess.

“It's been too long” the words had simply rolled off my tongue with ease despite the rolling quake of nerves that seemed to tremble within my middle.

Her eyes while wide quickly moved to anything but me. I couldn't blame her for her reaction. It was normal but it didn't lessen the blow that lashed along my heart. 

“Yes it has, I wouldn't have” she paused trying to be polite. Trying to keep our words, at a distance anything other than the intimate things we once shared. 

I couldn't blame her. But again it wounded my pride. 

It always was my weakest point.

“Expected to find such a delinquent on school grounds” her eyes snapped to me. I hadn't expected that. They narrowed with shock and a spark of her anger. 

“Those were not my words, don't twist them to your liking” her sharp and quick response felt familiar.

Like when I had pushed her hard into the puddle and I had felt the distinct and familiar pain of her shoe connecting with my shin. I had toppled into the puddle beside her, cold and wet I had looked up to say something angry but fell into silence while looking at her satisfied smug smile.

I think that's when I had started my long winding love of this women before me. I hadn't noticed my feet had moved without permission and I was within touching distance. My umbrella hovering over us both. Giving her refuge from the growing torrent of rain that was pouring around us. 

“Apologies, you know how I am” I was looking at the space in between our feet. Rain puddled around our feet. She let out a scoff and a laugh. The sound was apparently to much to ignore as I found myself staring at her turned away face. The peak of a smirk on her face and a blush on her cheeks once again. 

Her hair was shorter. Framing her face and revealing her neck to my greedy eyes. I could feel that old itch, to touch her. To be a close and familiar. 

“Yes. Yes I do” those lavender eyes narrowed on me. It did things to my insides. I wanted her to keep looking at me.

The echo of a bell seemed to break the spell she cast on me. And my attention was drawn back to the school, to my present. 

“I should go, don't want to be late” I flashed her a half smile. She looked up at me her smirk gone,unease had shifted into her features. I hated that knowing she didn't want this moment to end, just as much as me.

“Of course” her head bent down trying to hide her embarrassment. But I knew it was there I think it's why I had the courage to clasp her warm hand in mine. Wrapping her fingers around the umbrella's handle.

“You can watch over this for me then” not a question. A silent demand, a plea. And all too quickly I had to release her. My hands at my side as I backed up into the rain flashing her a smile as I made for the door. She looked so stunned. 

It was amusing.

Even as irritation crept into her features.

“Well when and how do I give this back?” her voice a tad higher than normal. I seemed to hit a silent replay of every time she had worn that look in front of me. 

“Well you know where I work” and shut the door behind me. I wanted to look back through the glass door, see her face. But I wouldn't be able to hide the smug smile that was left on my face. 

-

What the fuck had just happened? My head was spinning. The heat of his touch still lingered on my hands. His crisp scent lingered around tickling my skin in its usual way. Like it had so long ago.

Flashes of the feel of his hand on my back, his breath on my neck and his hot words that echoed in my ears. I was as red as the school building. Creators help me, I had just spaced out at my daughter's school thinking of such lecherous actions. Creators help me I was a mess.

Here I was in the rain, and all I could think of was this man. This one man. A man I had loved. Still loved. But my love had not been enough. It had left me like an open wound. Easy to infect, sensitive to touch.

And this had left me with one thing.  
Eleniel.

My tiny sun. 

The cool droplets of rain woke me from my daze as I had let it fall back in my loose grasp. Just enough to dampen my face once again. 

Solas.  
Thinking about him, seeing him felt so surreal. Would he be here when I came to pick up Eleniel? And how did I feel about that. Currently I was confused and slightly annoyed, it felt like he had tricked me. I walked away with a stone attached to my foot as I dragged back and headed to work. I could think more on this later.

-

I felt so smug as I had walked with in the halls. She surely would be puzzled for a short while, thinking of me. But as I reminisced did something dart past me. Something yellow and small. It's bag jiggling as she moved. The child. Bijaka’s child. That seemed to dunk me in cold water as I watched her dart into a classroom. I breathed a sigh of relief seeing she wouldn't be in the room I helped in. But she was sadly right across the hall, and in the same grade. I couldn't help but hate and love this child. A piece of the women I loved and a piece unknown to me, and not my own. 

How selfish could I get? I wasn't sure at this point. I was pretty sure the child hadn't come into mind as I had looked at Bijaka’s features. Or thought about how much I missed her. I had already made it so she would be near me again thanks to the umbrella. Would I keep making excuses for her? Or would I leave her alone like I had once promised? I wasn't sure. 

The tinkling bell of a laugh that sounded so much like her mother's filled my ears as I walked by.


End file.
